A child has an empty toolbox of coping skills and is learning problem solving skills. An upset and angry child has a surge of adrenaline pumping through him and does not know what to do with the excess energy. 

How are your coping skills in times of stress and anger?  Is your toolbox filled with effective problem solving skills or sometimes do you react in an ineffective way?

If the daily conflicts with your aggressive child have escalated to the point that you feel threatened, then you will want to read the article ODD Kids: How to Manage Violent Behavior in Children and Teens by Kimberly Abraham, LMSW and Marney Studaker–Cordner, LMSW

The ODD child feels powerless and unable to cope with stress or conflict.  Since conflict is a natural part of life, teaching a child the coping skills needed to handle the conflict in their life is not easy.  The article discusses a logical plan of action using various parenting skills that are contained in your toolbox.  As the role model, you will need these valuable tools.

If you have been looking for an instruction manual to cope with the disrespectful, defiant, back-talking, lying child, watch the video below, Transform Your Child's Behavior Now.

Summer can be a very exhausting season for the caregiver of aggressive, defiant child.   I hope these new resources will be of help. 
The Total Transformation Program costs about the same as one session with a therapist.  The program is guaranteed to work.  They also offer a way to receive the program for FREE!

Remember there is always a solution to a problem.  I hope that I have given you a solution to the aggressive child behavior that you have to deal with.  Your goal of a harmonious relationship with the child is still possible.

ODD Child Behavior

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In a previous blog post, I stated that children are our future.  The caregiver is helping to shape the child's future reactions to any given situation.  The child learns by example.  If you react to the child's behavior calmly, the child will respond favorably.  If you react angrily or even lose your temper, you just showed the child that it OK to react in that manner.  The early stage of aggressive child behavior

If you experienced continual conflict with your own parents,  you will most likely experience child behavior problems as a parent.  When you experience a similar problem with your child, are you going to act as you did as a child or are you the adult and control the emotion you are feeling at the moment?

Let's suppose you had a stressful or unhappy day at work.  You will not be in a good mood when you come home.  As soon as you walk in the door you are the parent.  Since parents are the role models for their children, how you act or react to your child is definitely noticed by the child.  Sometimes it is hard being the adult, right?

We all know children do not come with an instruction manual.  That is not a good idea as each child is a unique individual.  Knowing when to let a child be independent in his decision, even when you know the outcome will not be a good one, is one of the hardest thing a parent needs  to do.

I have not posted anything new for awhile.  My regular job went into overtime last week.  To make up for not posting last week, I have 2 new resources to share this week.

In my research I have found in over 50% of the children with aggressive child behavior which includes anger, defiance, belligerence, and  bullying, there is some other disorder that fuels the aggressive behavior.

The Defiant Child - How Do You Deal With Him  by R. Harvey, discusses the transition as a child to an adolescent and why it might be a difficult process for the child.

For the young child that is undergoing the "terrible twos",  I have posted 2 videos with advice on how to handle temper tantrums at home and in public.  Have you ever felt embarrassed at the store or restaurant because the child will not stop their crying or screaming.  You finally leave and then you decide you are not going to do this activity with the child again for awhile.  Do not give up!

Jane Major, PhD, Parenting Educator, Child Custody Consultant, & Founder of Breakthrough Parenting Services  discusses what to do when a child has a Temper Tantrum in public and what to do when a child has a Temper Tantrum at home.  Watch the videos.  They give good advice. I feel these videos are important since this stage is the first important  development of the child.

What about the child that is older than 3 year old, but not yet a teenager?  As I stated earlier, any concerns about behavior should be discussed with your pediatrician.  I want to remind you about the online course,   How to Improve Your Child's Behavior by Anthony Kane, MD.  He has a 22-week online course, risk free .  He is also offering FREE Unlimited Consulting for 1 Year.  Take advantage of the consulting for 1 year.  You can ask specific questions about your aggressive child behavior and he will answer.  You just saved alot of money for a therapist to help you understand how to cope with the situation.

My next posting is a new resource that will help you daily with your struggles as a caregiver.  Never give UP!  There is always hope! You love the child and want the best.  If you are lost and do not know what to do, keep visiting the site.  I am doing the research to help you cope with the aggressive child.  You can spend hours doing that.  There is alot of parental information online.  You do not want to spend hours looking for help.  I'm here for you. 

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I created this site as a resource for caregivers of children with aggressive child behavior, oppositional behavior, and conduct disorder.  I am not an "expert" in any child behaviors.  My background involved aggression in varying degrees my entire life until recently.  I was 1 of 7 children, #2.  I am a mother of 3 grownup children, and grandmother of 6.

Aggression can spin out of control in an instant.  What are you going to do?

The earlier the aggressive child behavior is recognized and the causes of the behavior are dealt with, the sooner you will have a loving, respectful relationship with the child.   Everyone makes mistakes in their life.  Acknowledge them, then go forward.  Look for the positive outcome; not the negative atmosphere that makes  you feel like a failure. 

A baby knows nothing, the toddler is emerging to become independent versus dependent.  The toddler does not have the communication skills to express their desires.  The "terrible twos".  If the child acts like a two year old at the age 4 or older, then the child's developmental stage has become stuck.  The parents should be consulting with their pediatrician for some guidance. 

When does a person realize this is not normal behavior?

I added an article to the library to help answer that question.  I was given permission to reprint the article, Behavior Problems, by the University of Michigan Health System. 

The first key point the article makes is:  What behavior do you want to change, then understand why the child is doing it.
The article discusses temper tantrums, biting, and bullying.  Bullying can start as early as two.  Read the advice.  Some good suggestions to help you get started on the new path of a harmonious, loving relationship with the child. 

My next post will discuss the article The Defiant Child - How Do You Deal With Him by R. Harvey.  Additional information can be read at http://defiantchildanswers.com/the-angry-child

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Your life has become a nightmare. What battle are you going to face today with the aggressive child?  The young child talks back, screams, bites, and has temper tantrums.  How are you handling that?  I think we are describing the "terrible twos". 

You have lost total control of the adolescent child.  The child has become disrespectful, sarcastic, disobedient, challenges you, and lies.   How how you handling that?

How are you Coping with the difficulties an aggressive child brings into your life?

My research has uncovered 2 theories as to why children will continually behave with chronic aggression.  Both reasons are not what you want to read.  The mission of this site is to provide information resources for caregivers of aggressive child behavior.  Since you need help to cope with the situation at hand and a therapist is not in your life at this time or the child is currently getting diagnosed,  then you need to be made aware of the theories the healthcare therapist might possibly talk to you about.

Please read my post on May 24.   Parents are the reason for the aggressive child behavior!
This explains the first theory. 

The second theory is the child's development is stuck in the "terrible twos" phase.  The time when the child evolves from the adorable baby to a little person asserting their own independence.  The toddler does not have the communication skills needed to express what they want, so they "act out" in frustration.

Somehow the maturity you would expect is missing in the adolescent.  The adolescent is still struggling with issues of independence versus dependence.  Therefore, the power struggle on a daily basis.

I have been in contact with some specialists in child behavior modification and parenting management strategies.  I have asked them to visit the site and perhaps leave a comment.  

There can be an end to the nightmare you are living.  Everything can get better.   There is hope if you are willing to accept responsibility for your actions (or lack of) in your life.   Caregivers are role models.  How we respond to a particular behavior teaches the child what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior.

This site is an information resource of the help and treatment options available.  You should always consult with your healthcare professional with specific questions on diagnosis and treatment options.

Signup for the bi-weekly newsletter.  Subscribers will have access to help articles  and videos prior to publishing them on this website.

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Are you ashamed and embarrassed of your child?

Do you feel like a failure as a parent?  

You have no control over the child, your home is a battlefield.  Somehow your adorable child has become a tyrant and you are having a problem regaining control.
Yes, your child sees a therapist once a week for Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  Or maybe you are hoping things get better and have not taken that step yet.  If your child has ongoing aggressive and defiant behavior for over 6 months, then you and your child need help NOW.

Anthony Kane, MD has a weekly online course, How to Improve Your Child's Behavior.  He is also offering FREE Unlimited Consulting for 1 Year.  You definitely want to check this out.  Dr. Kane is an international speaker on the topics of ADHD, ODD, child behavior and learning disabilities. He is also a father to two children with ADHD.  He has advised parents of children with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder for over a decade.  This program has been used in private clinics around the world and is working for "2157 parents". 

Click Here to preview the course.

You owe it to yourself and family a more harmonious life.  You will learn how to regain control and not let your defiant child run the household. You want a loving relationship with your child.  You want your child to show you respect and be obedient.  Dr. Kane will help you do all that and more.  It is not a "Quick Fix" to the child.    A few minutes a day will eventually bring peace and harmony into your life.  Take the first step NOW to reduce the frustration and stress you feel on a daily basis.
Remember, if you always respond to the aggressive child behavior in the same manner, the end result will be the same or worse than anticipated.  You owe it to yourself to have peace of mind. The new parenting strategies that will be taught will show you how .

Preview How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

The program is Risk Free. 

You have decided to get some help. In most cases the child's school has become involved.  The problem has become an imminent threat to all the people involved in the child's life.  You realize you are unable to cope with the aggressive child behavior on your own anymore.  You have made an appointment with a therapist.   The child refuses to go.  Since you can not physically force the child go to the appointment, what do you do next?  You will want to stage an intervention. 

For advice on 'How to get a resistant child into therapy' please watch the video belowHowdini.com interviews Ann Pleshette Murphy, author of the book, Seven Stages of Motherhood.

Consult with your healthcare professional for additional advice.

Documentation of your actions prior to a family crisis involving a child is imperative!  When an intervention occurs because the aggressive child behavior has become dangerous to others, then you will no longer have any control over the child .  The authorities have gotten involved.  They will tell you what you must do.  If you have documentation of a ongoing therapy, the authorities will usually work with you on your plan of action.  Stay in control of your life.  Make informed choices.

Please visit often and feel free to add a comment.  Helpful suggestions are always welcomed.

Signup for the bi-weekly newsletter.  Subscribers will have access to help articles  and videos prior to publishing them on this website.

My next posting will give information to an online course with free unlimited email consulting for 1 year.  The course can be done in the privacy of your home.   If you are working with a therapist then you already know the costs associated with consulting fees.  One year consulting at no charge is a substantial savings.  Worth checking out!

I hope you read the article 'Oppositional defiant disorder'  from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.  After you have read the article you will feel many emotions.  It has been difficult enough to deal with the aggressive child behavior, but to find out it is the parent's fault, it is way too much!  Somehow you will need to deal with your emotions and find a method to deal with the aggressive, defiant child behavior issues.  Yes it has become more than 1 issue to solve.
My site is an information resource of the help and treatment options available.  You should always consult with your healthcare professional with specific questions on diagnosis and treatment options.

The following is quoted from the above article from Wikipedia:

Behavioral features

Common features of oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) include excessive, often persistent anger, frequent temper tantrums or angry outbursts, as well as disregard for authority. Children and adolescents with ODD often purposely annoy others, blame others for their own mistakes, and are easily disturbed. Parents often observe more rigid and irritable behaviors than in siblings.[2] In addition, these young people may appear resentful of others and when someone does something they don't like they prefer taking revenge more than sensitive solutions.[3]

Children are our future.  The undesired behavior must be changed.  Where do you start?  Maybe you have started a treatment program with a therapist, but need encouragement and support between appointments.  Be sure to visit often and feel free to leave a comment. 
My next post will have a video to watch about the child that will not go to a therapist.

Should you know the difference between the two?  There is occasional aggression which can progress rapidly to daily aggressive, defiant behavior.  If the child confronts and challenges the caregiver, then the usual result is disobedient behavior.  If you feel fearful the child will attack or is actively involved in fighting on a daily basis, then you need help.
You know that you and the child need help.  You really don't want strangers knowing everything and judging your actions.  The help will be time-consuming and costly.  So what do you do? 
No action has resulted in the daily struggles with the child and the stress you feel because of it.
This site will feature resources that can be of help.  If you are actively involved a therapist, share the site with them.  Always consult your healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment questions.
I want to share with you an in depth article from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, 'Oppositional defiant disorder'.  It discusses the behavioral features, causes, prognosis, psychosocial treatments, as well as giving additional references.
Please visit often. The site is devoted to helping caregivers of aggressive child behavior issues.
If you have no control over the child and your home has become a battleground, then you must visit My Blog regularly.
I will be posting articles with free information to help you on your quest for a harmonious life one again.  The aggressive, defiant child behavior will eventually disappear or at least you will have a resource of information to help you cope with the child.
I will share with you some videos with advice on Oppositional Defiant Disorder and any other aggressive behaviors like arguing, fighting, and talking back.
I will be sharing a bi-weekly newsletter with a new article from various experts in child behavior modification. Sign up to get your copy each week in your email.
Most of all feel free to post informative comments.